Fear of Flubbing, Speaking in Public

I think this cartoon from the New Yorker is rather appropriate, even though I didn't write a diet cookbook. Perhaps I'll include recipes in future posts....

Tonight I'll be speaking at Books Inc., my first ever author-event other then the launch party. Since the publication of the book, so many people have come to me and described what I did (putting all that personal stuff out in the public eye) as "brave". That part really didn't feel brave to me. What's really brave is having to speak in public. I'm rather nervous!

The book was a challenge in that I wasn't sure if I could tell a good, compelling story. It felt brave to be trying to accomplish something new, for I had only been an illustrator, never a writer. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull it off, and would therefore have to return the advance with my tail between my legs. The material I present in the book, my story, became somewhat depersonalized as I crafted the actual events into a narration. I don't feel much emotion as I look at the pages other then the artist's cringe at the details that are not "quite right"! My biggest fear in doing the book, was a backlash from "X", but since he isn't nice to me anyway, I decided it was worth the risk that he'd go postal. Part of me, weirdly enough, hoped he'd like it-- because he always appreciated my creative side! (The answer, by the way, is no-- I don't believe he enjoyed the book).